Co-Rumination, Regression & Missions
A day or so ago I read an article on Co-Rumination and teenage girls in the New York Times. Basically the article said that teenage girls tend to over talk issues to the point where they literally drive themselves into depression and crazy amounts of anxiety. Now, I am not, I repeat NOT, a teenager. However like most people (and I am stretching this to men too since almost ALL of my male friends co-ruminate as much as my female friends) I tend to over talk and even worse over think things too much (remember my friend who said my problem lies with thinking one think too far?). Well this article rang true for me except for the fact that I am not a teenage girl.
Ok, flash back to yesterday. I currently, in between my fervent search for a job that pays me a livable wage, work at a theatre in a box office. All has been well with my braces in terms of peoples reactions until the boy came to the window. The issue started when he wouldn’t stop staring at my mouth. This made me slightly self-conscious. Then he started rubbing his own tongue on his teeth with a perplexed look on his face, almost as if saying “what the hell IS that on her teeth!?!?!” Well the more nervous I got the more I talked, the more I talked the more I wanted to hide my mouth, the more I wanted to hide my mouth the more he looked at my mouth. It went on like this until he finally left and I sulked back to my desk wanting to crawl in a hole and die.
Now, a rational person would say, he wasn’t actually looking at my teeth. Perhaps that is just his thing. Maybe he tongues his teeth like one would fold their arms, or raise their eyebrow while listening. Or maybe he was looking at my mouth but maybe it was not in disgust, maybe it was because he liked them.
No matter what the true intentions were of this boy the result was the same – I am regressing into a teenager. And it is all because of the braces. I am a master flirt. If I do say so myself I can pick up a guy when I want to but the braces have made me so self-conscious of my smile.
At the opening night party the other night my braced s
mile made their debut in a grand fashion. Thanks to the dim lighting most people barely noticed them and when they did it was always to good reviews. (the only bad thing was an over-aggressive cheek kiss that made me contemplate calling the ortho for an “orthodontic emergency” – soreness and face slamming don’t mix). At the end of the night, after much dancing and much imbibing of wine, I decided that the flirting that I was doing all night with the DJ (the only straight man at the party – its theatre…) was going to be my triumph of the night. So before it was all over I waltzed right up to him and asked for his number. He proceeded to reject me. Ok, fine, he was married – so the rejection was a good thing in a way but still. Rejection is rejection - and i still felt how the chick in the picture looks. 
I am determined to not let the braces beat me. This week I am going to go out on a mission. Not a religious one (quite the opposite). I am going to go to lots of public places and feign confidence and if I continue to get rejected or looked at funny, well, then I guess we’ll take it from there.
Onward with my mission!
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