What not to say to someone in braces.
I haven’t posted in awhile – not because there hasn’t been stuff to write about but more because I was waiting for things that have happened to settle. I wanted to make sure that the knee jerk reaction I had to things was a true feeling and not just my crazy brain out to get me.
There have been a couple instances with my braces where people have mentioned them in, let’s say, not the nicest or most polite way. They usually do this by referring to them as if I have some incurable, highly contagious disease or they tell me all about their young teen daughter and her braces, or they mention how “superficial” the whole braces things are. Now, I want to clarify that while I talk almost exclusively about my braces here in my daily life I work very hard at trying to forget about them and just move on (some of my close friends may disagree – but I am not counting my talks with them). But sometimes, these people won’t give up.
Examples:
Clueless Dad: “Oh, you have braces? My daughter has braces. She’s 13.”
Me: “That’s nice. So have you seen this show before?”
Clueless Dad: “Yea, she hates them, but she gets those colored rings…are you going to get colored rings?”
Me: “No, my braces are clear so it would look funny. Anyway, do you live near here?”
Clueless Dad: “Ah well, it all superficial anyway. My friend said we shouldn’t even put braces on her, cause they [her teeth] look fine.”
Me: “That’s what my mother thought and here I am at 23. Excuse me, I have to go.”
[Seriously dude, i know you are older than me but please don’t try to relate to me by comparing me to your tween daughter. You’re not even that old!!! Plus you JUST met me, where do you get off calling me superficial!? ]
Or this one,
“I’ve been reading your blog…[ridiculously uncalled for long pause]…..so I know.”
[THEY ARE BRACES! THEY SUCK! WHO CARES! Plus you can BARELY see them. UGHHHH! And if you didn’t read my blog I bet you wouldn’t have even noticed them because you are so oblivious! Get over it.]
The other thing that both helps me tremendously and yet makes me feel bad all the same is the constant:
“Ya know, I know [insert random person] and they have braces. And they’re like [insert age that is either close to mine or exact opposite] and I never even noticed.”
[well clearly you did notice because you are bringing it up, and while I am happy to know that there are others afflicted by the orthodontist it is akin to saying “oh you’re black? I had a black friend once.” It sort of marginalizes the whole situation and person. And yet deep down does makes me feel better to know I am not alone (this last thing is not applicable to the black statement…don’t say things like that.) So I guess I am more mad at the confusion this statement causes me.]
“Are you getting them off soon, you’re teeth look so straight” also in this ctergory “But your teeth are so straight why are you getting braces!?”
[Braces are not always about straightening your teeth other issues happen that need it, so leave me alone! I know my teeth are straight and were beautiful but now they will be even better and they won’t fall out of my face like they would have if i didn’t have the braces.]
There have also been positive things, like a couple of my friends didn’t notice them at first but were looking for them (since they knew it was happening) and were surprised when they could barely see them. They have been called “cute” a couple times (which sometimes i agree with, but i don’t always want to be “cute”, sexy? Yes. Alluring? Yes. Incredibly beautiful and talented? Yes and Yes…but i digress.) I have also had some friends who are superficial (not necessarily a bad thing) tell me straight out that they don’t look bad at all, in fact they are a non-issue.
So to anyone who doesn’t have braces please take notice, we do not have a disease, it is not the same as your 13 year old having them (i am a grown up…i have a job, and date.) and lastly it is by no means superficial. Even if you are “just” getting them to straighten your teeth Tooth Health is important to overall health - so shut up.
