Stronger than an F-22 Raptor
I am officially 6 weeks in to my braces (that’s it?!?! ugh, Only 90 more weeks to go).
I had my first braces adjustment today. She said my teeth are moving wonderfully (i’m awesome.) and that I don’t need to see her for another 6 weeks (YAY!). The bottom braces (which will be metal) are set to go on in early January. Not looking forward to that. I almost made it through without crying but to be fair I cried because when she put the new band on the tooth that “is moving the most” it hurt like hell. For serious, I thought my tooth was going to rip out of my face and take my eyes with it. Gross, but no exaggeration, and luckily that pain stopped almost immediately after the band was put on. To be technical for a moment: She put in another flexible wire which will move everyone into position and then next time I will get a stainless steel wire and that is when the “uprighting” of my teeth will happen (2 molars are slanted in at the root, so they look like a pyramid, apparently this is not ideal). After that is in place the bottom braces go on to perfect any imperfections on the bottom and get them in position for the implants.
While time is moving slowly in regards to my teeth it does seems as though the process of teeth relocation is going quite smoothly and efficiently. (Always the teacher’s pet and over-achiever). Surprisingly my teeth didn’t hurt after the new wire…although I have been popping 3-4 Advil every 4 hours or so.
Two bits of excitement, the first being that my tongue, thanks to the retaining bar on my bottom teeth, has been so cut up because of a very sharp little rascal that scrapes my defenseless tongue every time I eat, drink, swallow and generally breathe. Dr. R. just clipped and Huzzah! My tongue is safe another day. 
The second is that for the first time EVER in my dental history my dentist told me that my teeth cleaning was “impeccable”. That’s right, you laugh when I brush and floss after everything, but I was not scolded by my dentist. And yes, that does make me feel good. I deserve a sticker - what happened to the Fun Factory I was promised!!?!?!
One thing I think is funny about my ortho is that she readily admits that braces are unattractive and suck and yet she LOVES braces and orthodontics (more support for my thesis on Why All Dentists are Sadists, subtitled How Orthodontics Ruin Lives and Families). She was talking to me about “Wife Swap”, a horrible show that I must admit to watching, and she mentioned that 2 of the children on one episode had braces. What made her laugh and “feel just awful” was that they kept showing the teenage son in his headgear. She legitimately thought it was cruel and unusual to show him in his headgear, which one can gather means she knows just how terrible headgear and orthodontics are yet she still chooses to practice this horror. 
On the plus side, she is very sweet and is very accommodating in all my craziness - when she asked how the braces were I told her it wasn’t the nuclear holocaust i thought it would be and she laughed and that made me think “She doesn’t know how much i truly loathe this, go ahead and laugh. I’ll have my vengeance”.
And finally, the first installment of:
Things You Never Knew You Wanted to Know About Braces
(brought to you this week by The Internet and everyone’s favorite Down Time at Work)
My braces are “ceramic” but not the kind you may remember from as little as 10 years ago. The ceramic brackets I have are by a company called Glenro who call the Aesthetic Ceramic Bracket, “a ceramic-reinforced bracket and two generations of a ceramic/polycarbonate combination bracket. It offers “a true mechanical bonding base design that has been used successfully on Glenroe’s metal brackets for years. Bond strengths are excellent, and safe removal is assured. The bracket’s small size, smooth surface and rounded corners are designed for patient comfort, strength, and breakage resistance.” I also found a great study on these brackets and their “Frictional Properties” in relation to the metal wires. Apparently it is low. I think it’s a good thing.
So there you have it, stronger, more comfortable and brackets made of the same stuff F-22 Raptor cockpits are made of (polycarbonate).
