::Hangs head in shame:: So, I cried the entire visit. Sort of more than I should have. I cannot shake this fear! It is really frustrating. Rationally I know it’s riddiculous and that my ortho is a lovely person, but in reailty I walk into that office and I literally feel like the hands of death are around my throat. By the end of my appointment I was close to running out of the building because I just couldn’t breath in the office anymore. I know it is crazy. I know things could be worse and that I should just think of something else but I can’t. I hate myself for it.
As for the visit itself it was pain wise good emotionally bad. She didn’t actually DO anything but she looked at my mouth a whole bunch. Looked, and looked, and i opened and closed, and opened and closed, and then opened a little, then closed a little, then looked to the left and then to the right - and then 20 minutes later she gives me the news:
Bottom braces will most likely be ready to go on by the next visit (officially scheduled for April 30). And I will most likely get rubber bands, in the shape of a triangle, to go with them. Awesome. Bottom braces and rubber bands. What the hell!? She showed me my before pictures to show me my progress and try to make me feel better. There actually is a big and noticable difference, but not enough to have me de-braced.
It sucks slightly more that all I want to do is cry a little and have someone tell me its ok, but people around me either get angry that I am always upset about this, tell me i can’t go on like this, or just don’t want to deal with me. Honestly, I just want to cry a little and have someone say - This sucks. You think you’re annoyed at how often this upsets me - try having a monstorous anxiety attack every 4-6 weeks that’s pretty much debilitating. Its terrible. Maybe I should look into counseling. I don’t know if 2 years of dentist appointments can be helped by only a blog.
Stand firm little blog - on the brightside because she didn’t technically “tighten” anything my teeth won’t be anymore sore than they have been! yay. (did you hear that excitement!?)
Next on my braces worry queue: How do I bring up my braces to my current boy and do I tell him of the impending worseness of it all with the bottoms and bands? I think eventually he’ll notice the addition. ugh.
